The Pecking Order Week 5, 2026
Mariachi Ninjas Sit Pretty on Top as Movers and Shakers Shake Up the Pecking Order
I'm told the Mariachi Ninjas are the most dangerous team in AFL right now, sitting at 95.7% all-play and riding a 7-game win streak after dropping the league's highest score of the week at 231.09. Boom. League sources tell me this is a team built for a championship run, and money is nice, but championships are better.
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The Mariachi Ninjas are the gold standard at 95.7% all-play, 3-0 over the last three weeks at 174.7 PPG, and riding a 7-game heater that nobody in AFL can touch.
95.7% all-play 174.7 PPG, last three weeks
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Smokane FC is 3-0 in the last three weeks at 167.7 PPG and a 6-game winning streak, and I'm told they are quietly the second-most dangerous roster in the league.
83.5% all-play 167.7 PPG, last three weeks
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Drunk Indians climb to #3 despite a 2-1 stretch, and their Week 6 matchup with Harambe is the highest-ranked clash on the slate.
77.4% all-play 150.3 PPG, last three weeks
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Balls Deep sit at #4 with a 78.3% all-play and 3-0 over the last three, but they cost themselves 48.72 points on the bench this week, a brutal blunder that kept a title push from getting going.
78.3% all-play 142.5 PPG, last three weeks
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Vitside Mafia jump two spots to #5 on a 67.8% all-play, but they are 0-3 over the last three and on a three-game losing streak that needs fixing fast.
67.8% all-play 139.2 PPG, last three weeks
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Dicks out for Harambe hold steady at #6 with a 65.2% all-play and 2-1 over the last three weeks, and they face the #3 Drunk Indians in Week 6, so buckle up.
65.2% all-play 137.1 PPG, last three weeks
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Swiftie 4 Life fall two spots to #7 with a 53.9% all-play, and their 143.8 PPG over the last three shows the scoring is there even if the wins are not.
53.9% all-play 143.8 PPG, last three weeks
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Midwestside Connection climb two spots to #8 at 48.7% all-play, and their 2-1 over the last three weeks run at 130.2 PPG is exactly the type of steady climb that wins in the long run.
48.7% all-play 130.2 PPG, last three weeks
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A Bruin Pegs Me rockets up four spots to #9, a massive move that comes on a 2-1 performance over the last few weeks and 125.4 PPG, and it's one of the biggest risers in the league.
51.3% all-play 125.4 PPG, last three weeks
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No Soup For You jump six spots to #10, the biggest climb of the week, on 123.5 last-three PPG and a 2-1 run that has them looking very much alive.
51.3% all-play 123.5 PPG, last three weeks
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Titsburgh Feelers climb four spots to #11, but they are 1-2 over the last three at 123.1 PPG, so the bounce is real but the consistency is not there yet.
48.7% all-play 123.1 PPG, last three weeks
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Suh girls, one cup jump six spots to #12, and their 2-1 record over the last three weeks with a 2-game winning streak is a quietly violent move up the board.
43.5% all-play 120.8 PPG, last three weeks
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Fullybaked slide two spots to #13, and their 1-2 mark over the last three at 110.0 PPG is a sharp drop for a team that scored 131.3 PPG across the season.
53.9% all-play 110.0 PPG, last three weeks
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Get off my Ditka sit at #14, perfectly flat, with a 3-0 record over the last three weeks and a 3-game winning streak, but their 40.0% all-play says they need more than hot scoring to climb.
40.0% all-play 120.9 PPG, last three weeks
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The Boondock Saints drop six spots to #15, and their 1-2 performance over the last few weeks at 112.5 PPG is a rough stretch for a team that had been a playoff-level roster.
46.5% all-play 112.5 PPG, last three weeks
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Jewpacabra fall eight spots to #16, the biggest drop of the week, and their 1-2 record over the last three weeks at 103.3 PPG is a warning sign despite a solid 55.7% all-play.
55.7% all-play 103.3 PPG, last three weeks
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Da Dangsters are in the Cooler of the Week spot after falling five spots to #17, and their 0-3 mark over the last three with a six-game losing streak has them in serious trouble.
40.9% all-play 109.7 PPG, last three weeks
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Avenging Amish drop one spot to #18 on a 38.7% all-play and 1-2 over the last three weeks, and they need to find some scoring punch fast.
38.7% all-play 110.8 PPG, last three weeks
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Badd Boys sit flat at #19 with a 34.8% all-play and 1-2 over the last three weeks, a team that is treading water and needs a jolt.
34.8% all-play 114.0 PPG, last three weeks
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Team Minty Fresh hold at #20 with a 27.8% all-play and a 2-game losing streak, and I'm told the front office is already weighing its options.
27.8% all-play 116.5 PPG, last three weeks
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Computer Jocks climb one spot to #21 on a 27.0% all-play, but a 1-2 mark over the last three at 114.7 PPG means the climb is small and the work is still ahead.
27.0% all-play 114.7 PPG, last three weeks
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Muck Juggling Micks drop one spot to #22 on a 28.7% all-play and a 2-game losing streak, and they need to stop the bleeding before it gets worse.
28.7% all-play 112.4 PPG, last three weeks
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The Show sit flat at #23 with a 26.1% all-play and 1-2 over the last three, and they are a team that needs a real reason to believe in the second half.
26.1% all-play 101.9 PPG, last three weeks
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Chatmaster remain at the bottom at #24 with a 14.8% all-play, an 0-3 record over the last three weeks, and a six-game losing streak, and the dark clouds are not lifting anytime soon.
14.8% all-play 99.2 PPG, last three weeks
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