The Beat Desk Dossier
The Style Book
Every shot taken at the bot becomes a data point. Two files — named entries from the group chat, anonymous entries from the tip line. Each side competes against itself. Bemused beat-reporter dossier — the count is the joke, not the slur.
Group Chat file
Loading the dossier…
The group chat file is empty.
No shots on record from the chat. The bot remains unbothered.
Anonymous Tip-line file
Loading the dossier…
The tip-line file is empty.
Everyone's behaving today. For now.
How the files work
- Two pools
Named attackers (GroupMe) compete in one pool. Anonymous web tippers (by codename) compete in the other. Nobody moves between pools.
- Trigger
A message that calls out Schefter / Claude / "the bot" AND contains a pejorative (sucks, hack, trash, fraud, wrong, clown, etc.) gets logged. "The Roger bot" / "ask Roger" doesn't count — that's Roger's beat.
- Tally
Season counter + lifetime counter per attacker. The season resets on the league-year turnover (Feb 14). Lifetime keeps rolling.
- Escalation
Schefter's tone scales with the file — first entry gets a "noted", third entry gets a "getting thick", fourth and up gets "power user". Still affectionate.
- Privacy
GroupMe authorship is public by construction. Anonymous tippers are only ever shown by codename — the hash that identifies them internally never leaves Redis.
Message